Feminism is a Cancer

Today I opened my twitter account to find a direct message from a man I spoke to last night telling me to fuck off and declaring war. This can as a surprise as our conversation the previous night had been civil and ended peacefully. In fact, it wasn't me who pissed him off, but someone else entirely, yet he say the need to lash out at me because I identify as a 'feminist'.

I know. Shock horror.

But feminism is a cancer spread by women who hate men, right? It's all militant feminazis who want to subjugate men, who disagree with shared parenting and deny female on male domestic abuse happens. It's corrupt movement seeking to oppress men. That's what Twitter would have us believe...

Men's rights activists jump on anyone who believes in equality but identifies as 'feminist', telling them that they're wrong about what feminism stands for. They remove an individuals right to identify as something by inserting their own narrow-minded view of what a movement is. Some even deny the history of feminism, corrupting it into something where suffrage is separate and the women who fought for contraceptive rights were simply following a trend rather than making progress in women's rights.  They will state that suffragettes weren't feminists and contraception is the result of science and the Catholic churches teaching that contraception is wrong was doomed to failure right from the invention of contraception and so women campaigners were simply following the trend rather than doing anything revolutionary.

They are wrong. On all counts.

But I guess I should start by saying what the feminist movement actually is.

• A series of political campaigns seeking to reform women's rights in areas such as women's suffrage, reproductive rights, equal pay and workplace discrimination, sexual harassment and violence, domestic violence, and other areas of abuse of females and gender equality.
• First wave feminism involved the women's suffrage movement and a campaign for political equality. It originated in the 18th century as a social movement for the emancipation of women, and although the term 'feminism' didn't appear until the 1880s, it is accepted to retroactively cover the early years of what was more commonly known as the 'women's rights' movement. First wave feminism centred around middle and upper-class white women.
• Second wave feminism brought it to the masses, including ethnic minorities, the working class, and those in developing countries in a continued attempt to battle social injustice and cultural inequalities.
• Third wave feminism continues to fight for financial, social, and cultural equality, for greater influence of women in business, politics, and the media, and for reproductive rights.

What feminism isn't

• A movement seeking to interfere in 'men's issues'.
• A movement seeking to subjugate men or take away their rights.
• A group of women who hate men and encourage others to do so.

Anyone who claims feminism is the latter is misinformed, whether they're a man hurt by abuse or are a woman seeking to 'punish' men. Yes, there are misadrists who claim to be feminists, but they have misappropriated the title and true feminist - those of us who believe in equality - are as upset about their misuse of the title to further their own agenda as men's rights activists. We want to claim back 'feminism'. Although, in truth, we never lost feminism. The movement is still ours, it is simply unfortunate that the media and certain activist choose to give the negative minority more of a voice than the decent majority.

So what actually happened to make me want to speak out?

Well it started out with me replying to a man who claimed feminists 'blamed all men'. He indicated that feminism was a movement for women who hated men, however, he also responded positively to my reply.

In fact, the man in question even seemed to support true feminism as a movement seeking equality.

He even thanked me for my comment.

At this point another Twitter user got involved. 

Yup. He entered by calling those who share my beliefs useless. He didn't enter the conversation advocating men's rights, he started by casting scorn towards a woman he'd never spoken to before and dismissing her views out of hand.

He then resorted to re-writing history and name calling. We can note the problem with his claims as the suffrage movement had a great deal to do with getting women the vote and it is accepted as part of the wider feminist movement. Also, women - including scientists, midwives, and others - had a great deal to do with campaigning for the prevision of contraceptives to improve the lives and survival rates of women and children, especially among the working class where multiple pregnancies often lead to the death of mothers and children, and led to illegal and dangerous abortions taking place.

He then went on to accuse me of lying, despite his arguments being largely fabricated. The suffragettes WERE feminist, based on their goals and how we define both movements. Around about here, I blocked this chap. I read his twitter stream and his many replies to me (not all are shown above) and cane to the conclusion there'd be no reasoning with him. I can only presume he's had a bad experience with a woman who has hated men or a women who has taken something he felt entitled to, and as a result he's lashing out at any woman identifying as a feminist or who is brave enough to speak out against misinformation. 

At that point, myself and the original poster also ended our conversation in an amicable and understanding fashion and I went to bed. Only this morning, I awoke to discover he'd sent me further messages, ones which took on an entirely different tone and showed the same behaviour of the 'gentleman' I blocked. Someone else had upset him, so he chose to lash out at an entire movement and at me personally. He then blocked me do I couldn't respond to being sworn at. 

You've reached much higher equality...

That does not mean we are equal, and that is why we still need true feminism. With that in mind, I want to discuss the day to day sexism/discrimination/inequality I've faced in the last ten years, so from age 21 onwards, my adult life.

• When I chose to study in a male dominated field, a woman (stranger) announced I should 'go show those men'. That is discrimination, not feminism. That woman assumed I'd have to prove something based on gender. That is a type of women on women discrimination which sets men and women up in confrontation. Rather than mentioning gender, she should've just wished me good luck. Feminism needs to educate women on female-female discrimination as well as male-female discrimination.
• One of my university lecturers set the class a group task. We were in teams of four and our team included the only two females on the part time course. The lecturer told us that our team wouldn't manage the task because of us; because women's brains apparently work differently and aren't technical enough. At the end of the task we lined up our models without our names attached. He picked up the one model which was wrong and told us 'I know this is yours', at which point one of the men in our team pointed out that he was wrong, and our submission was among the correct line up, not the incorrect one. That wasn't the only time said lecturer made a prediction based on sexism which was later proved wrong. Three out of the four student who earned a first class honours degree were in that team then, one was me, one was the only other girl.  On my course there were two women to about thirty men, yet four first class degrees were awarded an two went to the women, two to the men, giving women a higher success rate. That same lecturer had mocked the idea I could achieve a first during a private meeting I had with him, he even went as far as to say 'if I got within a few marks of a first, he'd give me the extra marks'. I managed it on my own merit, scoring above 90% in some modules
• When I was pregnant with my first child, my line manager reduced my goals on my performance review from 'earn promotion to a senior role within two years' to 'return from maternity leave'. My career no longer mattered, the sole focus seemed to be the fear that I wouldn't return from maternity leave.
• I was not allowed to have leave to attend antenatal classes, despite pregnancy appointments being protected by law. The company determined that antenatal classes were optional and therefore I couldn't have time off, ignoring that antenatal classes are done to prepare women for birth, to ensure they and their babies have a safe experience where the mother is well informed. This is an example of employers interfering in women's issues, denying them the right to attend appointments we should be accepted as 'normal' because they don't see them as important.
• The recession hit and redundancies had to be made. The letter announcing my redundancy was issued the day I gave birth, and when I arranged a meeting to raise concerns, the boss saw me, but his lawyer advised him not to as it had been more than two weeks since the letters were sent. I spent two weeks going in and out of hospital after I gave birth due to complications. There was no way I could've appealed within two weeks because I'd just given birth, but the law protects employers over women. When I did have a meeting with the boss, they brought three people while denying me the right to being in an outside advocate, which felt a lot like ganging up on me. They then lied in the meeting, included most of my absences in their assessment which led to my redundancy, despite the law prohibiting pregnancy related illnesses being used in such a manner, but they mis-recorded my illnesses. They also gave points to people who had attended a training course which they'd refused to give me because I was going to be on maternity leave for a year, meaning I was automatically at a disadvantage because I was a pregnant female. Over the next two years, all of the breeding age women/women on maternity leave in my role were made redundant. I was made redundant, despite being requested by certain clients and having no warnings, while men with disciplinary warnings were kept on.
• Work stopped paying my maternity pay when they made me redundant. I had to kick up a fuss to get the money which they were legally obliged to give me. In addition, they'd 'encouraged' me to take all my holidays before maternity leave so my holidays didn't carry into the next year, but because they made me redundant mid year, they took pro-rata holiday pay out of my redundancy despite the fact I'd only taken my holidays early on their advice. They then denied having given such advice and told me it was my choice to take all my holidays at once. It seems to me that they tried every way possible to pay me as little as possible, using my pregnancy to do so, something that couldn't be done to a man and is, therefore, discrimination.
• A certain type of men repeatedly tell me I can't do certain jobs or tasks because 'women are physically weaker'. Blokes, just because it might take longer or require more effort, that doesn't mean I can't do something.
• A group of colleagues openly say discussing how all trains should have strippers and pole dancers to entertain men. Me and another woman were excluded from the second part of a team night out with the same colleagues because the men decided to go to a strip club. Such behaviour excludes women in professional roles and encourages the objectification of women. It enforces the cultural norm that professional or respectable women shouldn't stay out and should go home while powerful men can stay out having their fantasies fulfilled by almost nude women who are valued for their bodies over their brains.
• Men and women pressure women to conform with make up use, shaving, etc, even when medically contra-indicated.
• I was paid significantly less for doing the same job with the same qualifications as male colleagues. This was eventually addressed, but it shouldn't happen at all.
• I've sat an listened to male colleagues talk about how perfectly normal and even moderately pretty women are beneath them or are 'dogs', despite the men in question not exactly being fine physical specimens themselves. I've never listened to a group of women dismiss the average man in such a way. I'm sure some do, but I haven't experienced it.
• Women have claimed my desire to have kids and spend time with them is due to 'brainwashing by patriarchal society'. It is taking a choice and determining what I should choose for me. That is another type  of female-female sexism.
• The way women dress is still peddled as a reason for rape, rather than the buck stopping with the rapist.

If we go further back, to the ages 16-21, I was also subject to;

• Unwanted physical contact by a man trying to shoving his hand down my top.
• Bullying by men/boys for not being 'feminine'.
• Being lied to in order to obtain sex.
• Being told what jobs were suitable for women.

On a wider scale, women are still under-represented in politics and business. Women are still classed as a 'risk' as we are more likely to take time off during pregnancy or as parents, and their careers and earning potential suffer both because of employer discrimination and social discrimination (society rewards the workforce, but not parents raising the next generation, who will be responsible for the future stability of the economy, country, etc. Unwanted sexual contact or references are still accepted as 'normal' or as 'inevitable rights of passage', which means many women live in fear of unwanted male attention. While men and boys are suffering increased pressure to look a certain way, a problem which needs to be addressed, women still face greater barriers and pressure based on appearance.  In developing countries, (and even in some subcultures in the developed world) women are still seen as property to be owned and denied the right to fulfil their potential. Every day, women suffer from discrimination which brings with it physical harm, emotional trauma, and sexual abuse. It adds to anxiety, stress, depression, fractured sense of self, mental health issues, and physical health.

That is why we still need feminism, and why it's false to claim that the balance has swung the other way towards the oppression of men. 

Are there issues with a minority of misandrists? Yes. Just like there's a problem with a minority of full on misogynists. That doesn't mean women don't face every day sexism or that men should feel threatened by feminism. We need to treat each other with respect and as people. And if you resort to name calling and swearing at strangers, then your risk defeating your own cause. It's not on. 

While on Twitter I noted some people using the hashtag #FeminismIsACancer, users seemed to share the beliefs of the examples shown here. It's time tnose of us who are genually after equality reclaim the frase 'feminist' and ensure that future generations understand equality, not oppression, is what society needs.

Pseudonymous Zombie

xx